Weekend Report

Busy weekend around here. The temperatures plummeted from 80s to 40s over the last week so it was time for some fall prep work. Leaf raking and mulching, storing all the summer toys and furniture, etc. Chris is working on insulating the two unfinished rooms in our basement to try and keep it a little warmer this year. I hauled out the bins of winter clothes and honest to god, it feels like yesterday that I finally trusted the spring weather enough to wash and store them. I am not ready for the cold again. But! I am determined to do what I can to be comfortable and therefore not dread/hate the winter so much since it comprises around 50% of the year here.

Brighton had her second-to-last weekend of soccer and Pacey started basketball. He's doing skills clinics through a group organized by a fellow mom of a young man with Ds who was bummed there wasn't an option for basketball. It's such a fun program, and Pacey LOVED it. The buddies tend to be the girls' high school basketball team which is juuuuuust fine by my little ladies man. Wonderful girls, and use great skill in helping the kids without babying them. Both kids have had such positive sports experiences so far and I'm glad because - confession - I find most of it really boring. I think I'll enjoy it more when they get a little older and more organized/skillful but for now it's hard not to consider all the other things I could be doing with the time.

We had dinner with friends last night and it was wonderful. Delicious food and our pack of five kids roamed the house playing and needing minimal input from us. They have a son a year older than Archer so we are just now, for the first time in our friendship, in a position where no one is pregnant or dealing with an infant. Party time.

We're all home now, football on the tv, Indian food simmering away on the stove, dry English-style cider in the fridge waiting to be poured. Not a bad way to end a weekend.

Pacey Lately

I don't think much about Pacey having Down syndrome right now. I feel like he's in kind of a sweet spot...besides speech therapy there isn't much we do "differently" with him. He has a wide social network, only some of which has been crafted by Chris and I. His school has an excellent social facilitation program and he has made some wonderful friends. He functions, he's learning and he's progressing.

He has really nice manners, enviable posture and a hilarious sense of humor. He still needs some downtime at the start of his day and periodically throughout. He continues to be iPad obsessed and will come up with some incredibly creative ways to get to it if it's out of reach. He's compliant in general although can be as stubborn as a mule. He goes to school, comes home to tell me about his day and will start playing basketball again this weekend. Sometimes he says things that blow me away with their insight.

Once again, I wish I could have had just a glimpse of nearly-eight-year-old Pacey in the dark days and months after he was born. Not so much because all of the things he can do, but because of who he is and, even more, who he has made us. Our family is closer and richer because of him.

I included this photo because baby Pacey is wearing exactly the same cheesy
grin that his little brother gives us

All I Really Need to Know I Hear From My Kindergartener

It comes as no surprise to me that I am enjoying the time I have with the big kids significantly more now that we have some time apart. I, like many moms who choose to work outside the home (as well as some who don't), believe myself to be a better mother when it's not my full-time job. That's not how it's worked out for us, and I am so relieved to have reached this point where I get the space I need and can be that better mom.

What I didn't anticipate is quite how much I would enjoy hearing about the school day. Up until this year I haven't really gotten much from Pacey. The staff that work with him have been fantastic in keeping up the communication log and share written details from his day with me that can serve as a jumping off point, but even then it's primarily a question-and-short-answer session. This year he's blossoming into quite the conversationalist and I'm hearing much more about his days unprompted which I appreciate for many different reasons.

But Miss Brighton is a different story entirely (pun intended). As she makes her way down the bus steps she is often already starting to recount the day..."MOM. You will NOT guess what happened today." And I love it. I love every single detail she shares. I love that she has a space now that does not revolve around me; I'm a listener by nature and I'd much rather hear about all the things that have occurred in her day than discuss the latest developments in Equestria.

A sampling of things I have learned in the month or so of school we've had so far:

* There's totally a naughty kid in her class. He is frequently in trouble and she likes to go into detail about his transgressions of the day. It makes me so happy that thus far I have not had to deal with behavioral issues at school (and lest you think I'm tempting the universe by being smuggy smug, something tells me that Archer is going to be a bit of a wild card anyway)

* Just because a child makes it to the bathroom before they throw up doesn't mean they do it in the toilet (all hail the school janitors)

* There is at least one kid who cries per day in kindergarten (all hail kindergarten teachers...they do NOT have an easy job)

* Even in kindergarten there is drama about who will sit with who at lunch

* Rock Paper Scissors is the game of choice on the school bus

* There are two kids in B's class named Emmett and Lucy and "they will make a good husband and wife because their names are the same as in the Lego movie."

* Emmett is the friend B talks about the most so far and he sounds like a nice kid. I hope she will continue to be friends with boys.

* Swinging on the monkey bars is quite a lot like swinging on vines in the jungle (she doesn't know how to swing on vines, apparently, but HAS conquered the monkey bars).

* At least one child needs to visit the nurse for some reason or another pretty much every day (all hail the school nurses of the world).

* My lovely, adorable daughter is 100% a teacher's pet. I foresee some gentle guidance in the future towards following the rules herself without being a goody-two-shoes about it. For now I'm reveling in the fact that she's an excellent student.

 I know that typically as kids get older they want to share less about their lives with their parents, and while I still feel like that's beyond improbable with my chatterbox, I will nonetheless soak up all the minutiae while it's on offer.

Day 1

It's a gray and rainy fall day here, and my previously scheduled plans have been cancelled due to a sick eldest child home with me. It's a little frustrating, because it's day one of my new gym membership and I was supposed to be attending a fitness consultation this morning. I could probably have sent Pacey to school and hoped that he would make it through the day - or at least long enough for me to do my thing - but I am reminding myself that this very scenario is one of the main reasons it works for our family for me to be at home.

October and November are tough months for P from a health perspective. I don't know if it's the change in weather or just the exposure to school germs but he generally ends up with a respiratory illness. Last year it dragged on to become pneumonia and I'd really like to avoid that this year. I've learned (it's possibly taken longer than it really needed to) that it can really be worth it to be conservative, err on the side of keeping him home when he could be at school, hit the nebulizer regularly and hopefully keep things from progressing. Four years after I stopped working I still get a pit in my stomach when I hear his rattly cough. It was such a harbinger of uncertainty when he was younger...he could be sick for a couple of days which were easily covered by my flexible schedule, or he could end up in the hospital and require someone to be out of work for a week or more. The daily dance of who would stay home was SO stressful and usually ended up being me as I did have the flexibility and Chris didn't. I constantly felt like I was letting someone down...my employer when I'd have to be out for days at a time, or Pacey when I had to send him to school or daycare knowing that he needed a day to rest.

Anyway, as I said a good reminder of one of the biggest benefits to our family of my staying at home with kids. I have realized, however, that Pacey has discovered that as much as he likes school he also really likes being at home and playing iPad. I am now implementing our official Sick Day Policies which will include lots of boring resting and not a lot of entertainment.

Back tomorrow with some thoughts on a workshop I attended last night on educational inclusion...

31 for 21

Ok, I'm putting it here in writing so I can't back out. I'm going to participate in the 31 for 21 challenge again this year (a post per day through October for Down syndrome awareness). I reserve the right to post nothing but a photo, but come hell or high water I will post every day.

So many good things happening...nothing particularly noteworthy but we are all settling into the new routines. The weather is criminally gorgeous, as it often is here in September, and I am trying to enjoy every minute while I also brainstorm ways to get through another winter without any major funks.

Pacey is making great strides in his reading and writing skills. I found a little addition he made to my grocery/to-do list yesterday...he'd written the word "play." I love when he does things like that unprompted, because it reminds me that there is so much going on in his mind that we don't always know about. He is making new friends in second grade, and his best buddy, J, has already asked his mom if Pacey can trick-or-treat with them for Halloween this year. I never really let myself contemplate what Pacey's social life would look like in the future, but I certainly never imagined that he would be the rock star he is. Practically everywhere we go we run into someone that knows Pacey and they never hesitate to come up and talk to him. So awesome.

Brighton's rocking the kindergarten world. Her teacher sent an email to me the other day letting me know that during Choice Time Brighton noticed a boy playing on his own and asked the teacher if it would be alright for her to ask him to play so he wouldn't be alone. This made me so proud. Of course I am proud of everything she has and will accomplish academically, but hearing that my girl continues to be empathetic and kind to her peers really makes my heart soar. Plus she's an animal on the soccer field and that's pretty great too.

Archer is walking now at 14 months (nicely sandwiched between Brighton's 11 months and Pacey's 22 months) and is starting to be kiiiiiind of a terror. He loves to go around undoing everything I am doing, but beyond that he is showing himself to be both a climber and a hitter (!!) I'm so grateful that he's not in daycare right now because I know I'd be getting notes home about his behavior. I am confident it's nothing more than frustration resulting from his lack of ability to communicate otherwise, but it's not something I've dealt with in a toddler before. He has SUCH a cheeky grin that it's hard to be mad at him, and he still gives the world's best baby hugs but I think I have a challenging two-year-old year in my future with him!

Everything else I better save so I have something to write about starting next week...

N-2

In July of 2010 I quit working and we moved to Minnesota, where I started my stint as a SAHM. This was my little girl then:

Although she was at preschool for up to three mornings a week between then and now, most of her time was spent with me. I'll be honest, it wasn't always easy. She's high-energy, very extroverted and needs lots of stimulation. 

Today Brighton started kindergarten which, as of this year in Minnesota, is a full day of school. I've not been a perfect mom, and there were times that I felt like I wasn't adding a whole lot of value, but I'd like to think I can take just a small bit of credit for the smart, kind, compassionate, enthusiastic and vivacious girl who marched right in and took her seat in the classroom. I'm so proud of her. 

Back to School

Pacey started second grade today. He was beside himself with excitement. He has a great teacher. His best buddy has the desk next to him. About half the class are friends from his first grade class. His teacher confided that she and the other second grade teacher were duking it out for who got to have Pacey in their class. It's going to be a great year.

Orange is his favorite color. 

Brighton will start kindergarten on Thursday...in our district the first two days of school are used to do kindergarten assessments so she will have her very own first day. I don't know if I've blogged that they will be at different schools, but they will. Pacey attends a school a couple of miles away where they concentrate special education resources and are therefore able to follow a full inclusion model. He receives busing through special education services. Our neighborhood school is about a half mile away and Brighton is not eligible for busing to another school. I thought about driving them both to Pacey's school but then I'd be committed to having Archer there too, since he and B will overlap by a couple of years, and it just seems silly. Both schools are excellent, and this way each has their own turf. I like that Brighton will go to school with the neighborhood kids. I'm going to try walking in the mornings while the weather is nice, and she will ride the bus home (no way am I sacrificing another child's naptime if I don't have to!!) Pics to come on Thursday!

And I get to look forward to lots of quality time with this guy. Can't pretend I'm not happy about it. :)