3.0

Whew! Nice to have things out in the open now. It's surprisingly hard to maintain a blog about your life when you're not writing about such a huge part of it. However, I've had enough surprises and know enough about the whole process of reproduction that I no longer assume pregnancy = baby and felt more comfortable keeping things quiet through the first trimester.

We're so excited!! We told the kids this weekend and their reactions were true to their personalities. Pacey took it in stride, accepting and good-natured. Brighton flipped. She's really excited about the prospect of a baby brother. I wondered if she'd be disappointed it's not a girl, but she just said, "Now I'll have TWO boys."She doesn't understand the timing though, and every day asks a couple of times whether my baby is "popping out" yet.

Before we had any kids I always thought I'd like to have three. I'm one of three and it seems like your own family size growing up affects what your ideal family looks like. Living in California and working full time, I really couldn't see having a third kid though. Having two was really difficult. As soon as Brighton grew out of things I gave them away, passed on baby gear and my mantra to get me through the challenges of her infancy was "I never have to do this again."

But we moved and I quit work and delved into motherhood as my full time job. I got some breathing room, stabilizing my mental state significantly and suddenly it seemed possible to have a third child again. When I was pregnant with Brighton I felt guilty about the attention I'd have to divert from Pacey to her. I felt like having another baby was something I was doing "to" Pacey. Now, though, I feel like adding another child is going to be a gift to us all. I think the kids will be such great big siblings and will really enjoy a baby. I love the idea of the three of them having each other always.

It's definitely going to be a huge adjustment going back to the schedule of a baby. I'll be giving up my precious hours of free time each week for another few years. We have no baby gear left (well, apart from two cribs, both of which have apparently become dangerous since we used them). I've really been enjoying not changing poopy diapers. But I feel lucky to have achieved the perspective now that the tough infant and toddler years pass and then you have amazing, funny, infuriating kids to enjoy.