Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Light, Dark

This week I feel like I'm coming out of kind of a funk, that lasted a good three weeks or so. I was still feeling extremely fatigued, frustrated with everything, stressed about a million little things and just feeling like there was no end in sight for anything. It was getting to the point where I was wondering whether I might need to talk to my doctor about a medication increase; while there were plenty of things going on that are legitimately anxiety-inducing and upsetting in some circumstances, there's a line beyond which I just know I shouldn't feel so bad.

I was reminded today, reading a post on Dooce (Heather, the author, suffers from much more severe depression and anxiety than I ever have) that the autumnal and spring equinoxes can be especially hard on people whose brain chemistry isn't quite right to begin with. It's sort of counterintuitive for me, because in a lot of ways I love the change of seasons occurring at those times. I don't know what the scientific evidence for this phenomenon is (Dooce mentions that her psychiatrist explained it to her; it's something to do with the rapid change in natural light) but I can almost always pinpoint a troublesome period occurring during this time for me.

I'm definitely continuing to learn, for me, about what constitutes normal mood changes and what warrants some monitoring. It's made much harder by pregnancy; the changing hormones and general lack of control I feel over my body muddy the waters significantly. I really like learning about how other external factors may be affecting me...an increase or change in medication doesn't have to be the answer if there's something temporary that I know will pass and it's much easier to cope if I can understand it.

This week I can feel myself coming out of the funk. I have so much more energy and I feel like I can consider some of the changes on the horizon in a much more rational way. Last week was such a welcome break from our usual day-to-day routine and I think we are all more relaxed for it. Of course it doesn't hurt that it appears spring has finally arrived and I can start wearing two or three layers instead of four everywhere I go. Good timing too, as it's becoming a struggle to zip up even my roomiest winter jacket.

I'm tentatively planning to document another Day in the Life post for tomorrow, so watch this space for a thrilling synopsis of the minutiae of my days!

1 comment:

Navigating the Mothership said...

I've had this flagged to comment on for days, but only now am I finding a pocket of time.

This all makes a lot of sense to me and I feel similarly about the change of seasons - a funk which seems weird since I like the changing seasons.

Hope you are hanging in there in spite of this f&*#&#g weather. BAHHHH. It's making me feel claustrophobic.